THIS STORY IS DEDICATED TO MY DAUGHTER. SONY GUDIYA.

AUTHOR.

Story line

This story is about a little princess. How globalization changed an ordinary family life forever. An-aged fathers struggle to give his only daughter good education and a secured life. After the court battle

For his daughter’s custody will he ever live with his estranged wife?

I was enjoying my celibacy life. Living with my ailing mother I had to cook, wash and look after my mother. My mother repeatedly reminds me of get married. One day my mother reminds me that all my friends were married and happily settled down. She asked me. “When are you getting married? After me who is going to look after you “? I answered it by saying, “Ma marriage means more responsibilities and more expenses. I am enjoying my bachelor life, I have my freedom and no more obligations “.

After some days I started thinking about marriage and its prose and cons. After much deliberation I had decided to publish in matrimonial column for a bride. “. 5.5 ft, slim, fairs. Religion and cast no bar, bride for 42-years-old service engineer, c/o National, Chennai 2. I had received sixteen-reply letter. Some of the would be in laws want me to convert into their religion, others offered me money to start my own business and few letters from widows... out of sixteen reply I had selected only three letters and went for bride hunting. One is too fat, one is too short and the other girl rejected me.

My sister in Kerala proposed a girl for me. I had decided this is the last girl I am going to see. No more brides hunting for me .I received one black and white photo. A girl with a pathetic look. Poor soul! My mother approved of her by saying, “since she is also from poor family she will be able to adjust with what ever we have. You get it checked your horoscope and see whether she suits for you.”. I took both the horoscopes and done the astrologer check it. Astrologer told me only 10 out of 5 point’s matches. As per astrology a minimum of seven points should match for a happily married life. he advised me to look for some other girl. I knew a horoscope does not guarantee successful marriages. Success of any marriage depends on mutual understanding between husband and wife. “Do people in love check their horoscope.?” “Does other part of the world check horoscope before getting married “?. This is the last girl I am going to see, either marriage or no marriage for me. I took the girl’s photograph to my office. My colleague told me she is okay for me…She will suit you…” She was tailor made for you! “. My mother and all others approved her so I decided to meet her personally. As per our custom formal meeting between bride and bridegroom was arranged at her home. I went to Calicut to meet her personally. She brought me coffee and sweets. We exchanged very few words .she was very shy but managed to ask me few questions.

Boy meets girl.

Girl: “Do you like me”?

Boy: “Ok”.

Girl: “Do you smoke”?

Boy: “Yeah”

Girl: “Will you stop smoking after marriage”?

Boy: “I will try my level best”

Boy: “Do you like me”?

Girl: “Yes. I like you”…..

(1)

After one month our marriage took place at Guruvayur temple in Kerala as per our tradition. As per our marriage ceremony I was asked to pray at the temple. Being an atheist, it was difficult for me to pray, but at last I prayed!. “O god! There should never be any fight between us”! Our first night was spend in crammed second-class compartment of a train… we went on talking till we fell asleep!

There was no money for honeymoon. A new life! At last somebody is there at my disposal! What a great feeling!” Boy. Why did not I get married earlier”? . Life was smooooooth. No more washing clothes, No dishwashing either. forgets about cooking. I wanted to sing.” what a feeling…

One of the service engineers working at our Hydrabad branch resigned and left for gulf. My manager gave me transfer letter asking me to join at HYD in two weeks time. I pleaded with him to send one young service engineer who was completing training at our service center in Chennai.. Manger told me that I was promoted as sales com service engineer (without any raise in salary) I had explained to him by telling selling international brand fax and laser printer are something new to me. I also will find it difficult to meet expenditure. All my reasoning fell on his deaf ears. He insists that I join HYD branch without cribbing.

I had worked at HYD branch for six months. Life was tough. A part from attending service calls I also had to sell fax, dot matrix, laser printer, computer monitor, and cordless phones and there was target to meet. I tried my best. I could not make incentive by selling products because it was an international brand and prized above all other brands. Most of the time I end up selling product at end user’s prize. Just to show the minimum target.

My mother and wife wrote separate letters to me. Even silly problems were blown out of propositions in pages after pages. Mostly accusing at each other. At home without a referee (me) it was free for all. We men get along easily. If we do not like the other person, we will avoid him at any cost. If the problem persists, we will solve the problem with another problem. It is like ” trouble the trouble and there won’t be any more trouble”. For we men It is just that simple. At home my mother and my wife wanted to bring the roof down!. I thought enough was enough. I will find some job in Chennai. I had submitted my resignation letter after working for six month at HYD branch and returned home without a job.

Even after three years my wife was not conceived. Gynecologist told me that my wife needs test and medication. After spending more than Rs.5000 and waiting for 10 months. My wife delivered a baby girl. I went to see my little princess with new cloths and presented her cute little teddy bear. I saw my little princess. My wife named her Ammini. To me she will be always Sony Gudiya .My wife later wrote to me that my “goody” was scared of teddy bear and used to cry when she was an infant. Gradually she got used to him and they became Inseparable. My wife was taking training at her home. How to bath and look after Sony. After fourth mouth I brought them back to my home. Sony carried teddy wherever she goes. Seldom she gets angry and poor teddy became her victim…he was always at the receiving end, after beating she tells him she doesn’t want him around. She then throw him out of the window. My wife or myself go out to pick up the teddy and ‘pacify’ him .if our daughter is still angry she will came back and beat teddy again, at times she would threaten teddy that she will kill him. Hardly one year and two months old and she want to kill teddy! . When we console our poor teddy, Sony feel sorry for him she then tells him sorry and give him a bear hug and shower him with her kisses.. They soon became inseparable once again.

Watching our daughter grown-up in front of our eyes can not be described in word .I used to compare my intelligence with her age. Comparing to other girls of her age Sony was an intelligent girl. . At the age of two she was able to sing five nursery rhymes, she was able to tell the names of week and months, she could also count one to fifty. I felt very proud of my daughter. Her favorite TV.channel is POGO. I had lots of hope on her…. A Little bit monster but my daughter was full of life and fun.

(2)

At home my mother and wife were trying to show their superiority. Fragile ego problem .I was with out job for one and half months and were drummed by either of them. I met my ex colleagues of Chennai branch. They told me that our manager took bribe of RS 50,000 from the trainee technician to appoint him in Chennai branch .the boy was from his same cast. I knew our Chennai branch manger was a man of dubious character. When working in any organization over a period of time we will understand how the system works but safe guarding our job is most important than ever changing equations and politics in an office environments.

Later our company came to know his involvement in double-dealings and kicked him out of the service. He had misappropriated lacks of rupees by appointing new dealers .he even collaborated with them and made good fortune. Two of the dealers he appointed went absconding along with goods. Company had lost nearly twelve lacks of rupee .Out of three cores of rupees as outstanding amount from our dealers from across India, our manager had alone supplied goods worth more than sixty lakhs of rupees items even after repeatedly receiving bounced cheque from the dealers. Some of the dealers declared bankruptcy! . The other method he used to make money was by taking company’s service contract. He runs a parallel service for the costumes with the help of two of the technicians. Out of hundred and sixty-service contracts he had appropriated half of them in his name. Who will bell the cat?. At the age of forty-four I went for job hunting.

A.D.1999... Our union finance minister (present Prime Minister) declared LIBERALISATION policies, another pet name given for Globalization. Every Companies and organizations were offering voluntary retirement scheme (VRS) read load shedding or to contain over head cost .No white goods manufacturing companies were employing new service technician for their service department. They appointed franchise. . Some of them offered work on sub contract biases to get their service done. With no other option left, I had joined in one of the India’s leading white goods manufacturing company’s franchise as a service technician. It was not bad in the beginning. Only five technicians to attend service calls .At times instead of three pin codes we end up attending four-pin code area per technician. Even at 9.30 p.m. we were on site about forty or fifty kilometer away from our home. Life was tough but we were able to make some extra money.

According to the manufactures whims and fancies and regardless of workers benefits franchise changes rules and system over night. Appointment procedures were made simple by franchise .No more appointments letter. Appointment was made verbally. It goes some thing like this.”Do you have your own vehicle?”. And a mobile?. you know a Cell is a must ?”..Without bike and cell phone, you are not considered as a service technician. They call it survival kit. Minimum requirements. “Ok, good. “Now you have to pay for uniform dress!”. (Only God knows how long he is going to keep you in work.)”From tomorrow onwards you can join for work”. After you join for work only he will tell you how to make more money by-achieving target (regardless of working hours). Sooner or latter you yourself will find how much money, time and energy you have to use to extra money.

We never had PF, Gratuity, medical,(ESI) or life insurance ,no vehicle maintains allowance ,petrol or food allowances .only consolidate pay per calls were paid .RS .15 or RS 20 ,depending upon the distance from work place. They paid RS 40 per call if it is in Timbkabtu or in out station. There are some company’s franchise and service subcontracts offering Rs10 for attending service calls. Those technicians survive by making “extra” money .how they make extra money and how much they make depends upon their individual “skill”.

Manufactures increased number of franchise to six and gradually increased number of technician to 24. (In our franchise) .To give customer immediate response technicians got only one pin code per person. . Per pin code area for one person reduced call attending time and also reduced number of service calls or his lively hood .our manufacture appointed five more franchise. Manufacture insist that we sell accessories to makes extra money to makeup the lost service calls .All the accessories were over prized. (3)

Cheap and duplicate items made in Delhi or some chine’s spare parts were asked to sell it to coustmer.

Some of the items are even sold by footpath sellers!. Selling was tough. Since most of accessories were sold along with appliance by the dealers at the time of selling machines. Company offered us some incentives like if we sell these items we get a consolation amount of 50 peanuts .the highest being 100 peanuts. Per person per pin code area, it means number of reduced service calls (cards). Per day average four or five calls. However distance and petrol consumption remains same.

At the end of the day when you calculate petrol, maintenance and other expenses the struggle we family men make out a living was not worth it. With no other job then franchise system available we just continue to work. Lucky guys are those young bachelors at the end of the month they make out about RS 2000 or RS 2500 p.m. we family men find it difficult to meet both ends. Most of the young and energetic technician made fast money. Some of them disappeared with fridge or A/C. some technicians made arrangements to collect repairing charges from different customer in one particular day and took the entire amount about Rs12000 or Rs15000 and vanished. The intelligent one canvassed service contract from the customers and settled down with their own shop. With “inside people” they can all ways get their work done in double quick at the half rate! . In fact those technician give much faster and reliable service. In my five and half years of service at franchisee more than 250 young and energetic technicians were kicked out of service. Hiring and firing was the order of the day.

Target was always set beyond the reach of anyone. Our manufacturing company demands that we generate ten lakhs rupees worth of business per month. Thorough sales service and annul maitaince contract. Our boss was a BP patient. Like a volcano now and then he explodes. He uses foul languages and was a very abusive person. When we point out hardly 120 or 130 per person/ month. How can one generate one lakhs rupees worth of business per month? Our boss for the matter any other boss does not like asking questions .he will yell at us by saying, “you people are giving lame excuses! That is the advantage of being a BOSS. You can also talk through either side of your mouth. We get enough from customers, including manufacturing defect of products, any given time there is more than 4000 customer case pending in consumer court. Shouting back at customer will cost our job and our boss shouts at us for not bring enough revenue for him. Our Boss was under tremendous pressure to show ten lakhs rupees worth of business per month. I was a good technician, when it comes to meeting target I was always above average .it is impossible to meet target every time. If you remember 80 % of the work is done by 20% of the work force then you will understand what I mean. When our boss humiliated me in front of others for not archiving target; I felt that I can forgive my enemy, if ever I wanted to kill some one it must be our boss!. So much pressure at work place. No housewife or a mother will never know what is present day work pressure or how much we technician get abused by manufactures, by our boss and also by coustmer. When it is a question of family survival and keeping the job, we take every thing in our stride.

After the globalization manufactures localized their work. Manufacture goods, spare parts, put cash in their bank and attend consumer case at the court. Period. They now run their office with skeleton staff. Franchise technician’s work includes not only servicing their equipment but also to generate as much as money for the manufactures. A Technician becomes all in all. He must be a sales person, capable of selling products or spare parts, collection agent, PRO for the manufactures. His duty also includes.. read warning to make sure that the customer are not going to consumer court at any cost .we were asked to settle the dispute then and there. How you do it is none of the manufactures business! . Their argument is that if it is not a manufacturing defect then the fault lies with the technician! How convenient it is for them to blame on technician. Company executives come to franchise only to preach. It comes naturally to them .how many examples read cock and bull stories they tell us for motivation. Ask any of the company or franchise boss to be in our shoes, they get pissed off. That too for peanuts for per calls. Rest is assured when you got home... God blesses those poor souls!

(4)

On fourth month I brought my little princess and wife from my native place. Sony was very friendly with all our neighbor’s .who ever stretched their arms at her she will lean on them and traveled around the place on their hip. My wife complained to me that she could not have enough of her daughter.

When my daughter was almost ten-month-old we tried our best to walk her. She was little bit plum. not able to balance herself. Our neighbor an old woman told us how to make her walk .we tried it on her. I placed my daughter four inches away from the compound wall. My daughter leaned on back and supported her back shoulder on the compound wall and stood there for some time. We were eagerly waited for her first walk. The magic began after some time. By placing her small step side ways she started moving side ways, like a crab!. First she walked towards left side then stopped then towards right. . It was funny watching her walk side ways, all the while supporting her back shoulder by leaning back at the compound wall. She learned to walk very quickly. Our life revolved around our daughter. Wife started spending more and more time with our daughter. Our house routine had changed. My mother and wife started quarreling over silly things. There was always tension at home. I do not know whether to support my mother or my wife. They started accusing at each other. One thing I was sure both of them tell me nothing but lies only. It was only the beginning.

After 3 years

The company were I worked was running at loss. One day our boss called for a meeting and announced, “I am loosing one lakhs fifty thousand Rupees per month. I cannot run the business any longer. Please you all look for another job. I am going to close down my business.” I tried disparately for a job for the survival of my family. I sent my Bio - data for job. Apply.. apply.... NO reply! Rejected! Date of birth 14/02/1957. They concluded this man is too old. I had also attended walk in interviews.

Interviewer: “You must have a vehicle and mobile phone; you have to pay for petrol and mobile bill. You see. You are a too old; we are looking for young and energetic person, who is capable of working 10 to 12 hours, that too for RS. 2500 p.m. Will you be able to work for that amount”?.

” I need RS. 3500 p.m. to run my house. I thanked them for not calling me...I went home empty handed.

I started pledging gold for provisions and rent. My wife is too good when it comes to sarcastic way of talking. She also thinks I am an incompetent man to get a job. She can only find fault with me. not realizing that nobody wanted to employ a 48-years-old man nor willing to pay more than 2500 p.m. She started taking me for granted. Instead of realizing that with my meager amount of salary I am unable to run the house. She had no intentions of finding a job to save our family. I had spend about four thousand rupees for her computer course, she had completed her Hindi teaching course. She also knows tailoring work. Because I pledge her gold for house expenses she hated me .her problem with my mother also became unbearable. My house became a living hell. I told her to apply for some job sale girl, typist, data entry and make some Rs.1500 p.m. balance amount I will manage. She does not want to share the responsibility of our family. One day she called her brother and left for her native home with my daughter. Poor little princes. . She was hardly two years and three months old when she was taken away to wife’s house.

How many times she must have cried asking papa and nana (My mother). I still wonder what my wife would have told her about her nana and me. I missed carrying my daughter around .We used to goes to the park to play. She also like going to a shopping center where they sell all fancy chines items. I missed every thing about her .My wife was so cruel and selfish. The fact is that she did not want to save our family life .it is her bother and mother who manipulate her .it is her family’s responsibility to see that our marriage survive.

In India people use marriage for emotional black mailing. Some even use marriage as meat business. Marriage can makes money. Alimony! I missed my Sony Gudiya very much. Her small talks. Her nursery rhymes, pranks, laughter and her innocent smile…

(5)

Once I remember …I bought a packet of mosquito coil and got a plastic Chinese camera free. I loading film I took a roll full of snaps of my daughter. “Sony Gudiya… smile please…”! Click…click. One day after paying rent I came home and sat on a chair and was thinking how I am going to pay for provision. Which gold bangle should I pledge now? My daughter came to me with the plastic camera in her hand “papa, smile please…!”. She Try to take my photo without a film in it. .I had found memories of my daughter… If only I had a job ……..

I had sold my wedding ring to join multi level marketing [MLM]by paying Rs.3000/-. MLM products

Were very costly. Only very few customers purchased MLM products. Here in India people are interested in buy cheap and best products. They do not realize that cheap products can not the best products. They are still stuck with cheap and best!. Most of the customers brought items only on trial basis. Nobody wanted to risk his or her money by joining as consultants. Some of the MLM company had already flopped others cheated on customers. I went to native place to meet my daughter, I missed her for only five months but I could not recognize her .she was looking thin and sad. Poor soul! At this tender age how much mental agony she might have under gone. I had promised her that as soon as papa gets job I would bring her home. The only promise I could not keep up till date. In my native place of Calicut I tried to supply MLM products. I had also tried to recruit new consultant but nobody was interested. Some of the MLM Company had already cheated public. I had lost nearly Rs.5000. Heart broken, I had returned to Chennai. Back to square one.

Back in Chennai, again I went searching for job. Near by my house there was one electrical shop. Whenever customers came and asked for electrical work I went and attended their complaints. Shop owner took 25% commission on my labor charges. My little princes remained a distant dream. I have to look after my ailing mother. My wife and daughter and stayed with her family in her native place. When my daughter completed three and half years, It was time for her join LKG. My wife had send me letter asking for RS 3000 as donation to admit Sony in the near by school. Whatever gold was available at home I had to pledge it at the bank. I had send Rs.3000 as donation. She again sends letter asking for Rs.300 as school fee. I was not able to send her any more money. Here my own survival became a big question mark. I could not meet monthly expenses of RS 2500. Instead of she tried to get a small job just to pay her daughter school fee. She started sending me sarcastic, abusive and threatening letter. She wrote to me.. “If my family had to bare mine and your daughter’s food and education expenses. Why did you get married? I do not need such an irresponsible husband nor does my daughter need her father.”. I had no other option but to call her by phone and fire. “It is more than one and half years now since you left my house with Sony. I had to cook food for my mother, wash cloths and dishes. You only wanted to stay at your home and ask for money. Why should I pay you? Did I agree at the time of marriage that I would send you money if you stay at your home? When I had money and I was managing house you never had any problem. Now that I do not have a proper job you do not need me any more. You only need money. Now listen…. There is no free lunch in this world. Everybody will have to work for his food. If you still do not realize your responsibilities even at the age of 42 not even god can save you. Have you ever given a thought how parents are bringing up their children? You thought it was only a child’s play. Since you do not need a husband why are wearing (wedding chain) mangalsutra? Give it to me. I will sell it and recover your gold from bank. Since I have to cook and wash my cloths there is no question of me sending money to you.. I got married so that the least my wife will take care of me. You know you think you are from aristocrat family. You have an ego problem. Even a watchman is running his family with his meager amount of salary of Rs.1000 or 1500 p.m. His wife does some kind of job support their family. I do not know why don’t you realize who you are?. How much money can you earn for your family? Be in touch with reality. Come down to earth. Do not write abusive or threatening letters to me. If you do not want me, get divorce. That is fine by me... I need my child. I will not be able to give my daughter a secured life and good education. I want to put her for adoption. I have no other choice. Period.”

(6)

I had disconnected the line. No more letters, No more phone calls from either side. I still think of my little princes. When will I see her? What will I say if she asks me “papa why are you not taking me to your home”? The thought its self was nothing but a nightmare. I lost sleep and started smoking too much. I even lost interest in life… I thought of giving up my daughter for adoption, so that she can have a secured life and decent education. The least I will be able to meet my daughter now and then. I do not want my daughter to grow up like her mother. My wife says nothing but lies, talk like an opportunist, riddled with sarcasm and above all she is an egomaniac. She was impossible

************************************

One bad morning her brother and two of her uncles turned up at my house. They wanted to know my intentions! . They questioned me “You are not taking your family responsibilities, what are your intentions…..? I had answered it by saying that I had no intentions. “If she can live with me with whatever money I earn. If she wants to stay in her house and expecting me to send her money, then I am not going to send any money to her. At the time of marriage did I signed any agreement that I will send her money even if she stays in her house? More then two years ago she left for her home with my daughter. Is she bothered how I am living here? Instead of telling, her to find some work and manages life with me, you people seem interested only in money. I am not going to pay single paisa. Do what you want. Do you want me to sign divorce paper? I will sign, but do not expect me to pay alimony. That will never happen. I am determined. Now you all can leave my place”. They left me by saying that I will face legal action.

I started thinking… this is a classic case of making marriage as a meat business. Get married, have children, find fault with husband, fight over silly things with mother in law, file divorce, take alimony and live with the way she and her family wants. This is not going to happen with me. I am going to put a stop for this.

After a couple of days I had received court notice asking me to attend. As the D-day approaches, I started preparing for the test of my life. I will fight it out with tooth and nail. I need my daughter at any cost. I knew.” yes “she will ask for her gold ornaments. Including interest it is Rs.25, 000.there is only one-way to recover her gold. That is by selling my mothers wedding chain. Ever since my father died it was lying in the jewelry box .my mother had some sentimental value attached to it but there is no other way I can recover my wife’s gold ornaments. At last my mother agrees to sell her wedding chain. We got Rs26, 600 for her ornaments. I also need to write authorization letter for my wife to recover her gold ornaments from bank. I have to hand over our marriage registration certificate to the court. I do not need any lawyer to fight my case…”. I went to fight my case alone in Calicut. Kerala.

D-DAY. COURT PROCEDINGS..

Maya’s lawyer... ” My lord! Here is man who does not want to take responsibility of his wife and his

daughter. He is lest bothered about their welfare and even refuses to pay for his

daughter’s education. My client does not wish to live with her husband. Allow her

to get legal maintenance allowances.

Ju
Judge.………… “Do you have any thing to say”? ***************

check this link. for the rest of the story********

http://www.lulu.com/browse/search.php?_shopSearch=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.lulu.com%2Fbrowse%2Fsearch.php&_helpSearch=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.lulu.com%2Fhelp%2Fsearch.php&_forumSearch=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.lulu.com%2Fforums%2Fsearch.php%3Fmode%3Dresults&search_forum=-1&search_cat=2&show_results=topics&return_chars=200&search_keywords=&keys=&fSearch=Jivan+lal&fSearchFamily=0&fSubmitSearch.x=0&fSubmitSearch.y=0

. Maya stayed with her daughter and spend most of her time playing with her grand daughter. She wanted to make up her lost time with Sony. I stayed at Madam’s house only to look after Madam in her old age .A token of gratitude for giving a secured life to my daughter. Life was not cruel to me when I think of less fortunate parents. Today I am a happy and content person. (THE END)

An appeal to housewives.

Do you wish to help your husband to run your family? Then start working. Learn any home based work like DTP, Data Entry, Medical Transcription, Tailoring, Catering food, Chocolate and butter Cookies for Hotels, selling cosmetics and gift articles, tuition. There are lots of short term courses available on trades. Bank also offered micro finance for starting up small business. Earn some extra money to support your family. With ever increasing living cost (present and future) one man’s income alone cannot meet both ends. Your husband will appreciate you. One day you will be proud of yourself. Time is running out. Act now!.

This is the Moral of my life story.

With regards,

JIVAN.